Marriage brings two imperfect people, that love each other together. They live as one, with time, learn to accept each other’s strengths and flaws. They grew up to their own beliefs, backgrounds, ideologies, culture, and values.
For a marriage to be perfect and enjoyable, it depends on the individuals who are directly involved in it. there is no perfect marriage, we work hard, volunteer ourselves and perfect it daily. But for a happy home, some roles are entirely onto the woman of the house. Ask me how?
Let’s talk about the powers you have in your home. A wife can make or mar her marriage, depends on how you handle and manage your home. A saying goes, “the head cannot stand without the neck.” This implies that a man cannot make a home perfect without the full support of the wife. Both have to work hand in hand to achieve their desired goals. Nobody is perfect, we make mistakes every day; sometimes, we make the wrong decisions. But the question we ladies should ask ourselves is, “are we willing to realise our flaws or mistakes and work towards changing them to make us a better person and a better partner in our homes?”
Here are a few tips, I also practice in my home, and it has been working.
Learn to appreciate your spouse: – show gratitude for little things your spouse does irrespective of whether it is done the way you like it. Buy gifts for your spouse at ordinary times, no matter how small the gift is.
Correct your husband politely: – If your husband does things you think is not right, or wasn’t done the right way, gently point it out to him. He might not want to be corrected, but because it was said nicely, next time, when he is doing the same activity, he will remember the correction and do the right thing.
Argue reasonably and sensibly: – as humans, we disagree to agree. Not every time will things go the way we want them. Clearly make your points without using nasty or offensive words. Try to remain calm where possible, and challenge politely. Avoid raising your voice; it’s better not to talk when the other person is tensed, as this could make things escalate. E.g., If you want to buy new shoes for your child, and he says your child has a lot of shoes, instead of actively making your point why you want to buy the footwear, calmly say, without being sarcastic, the reasons the child needs the shoes.
Avoid been bossy: – make suggestions or say what you think about a particular discussion. Have an agreed decision, not imposing your own opinions or telling your spouse what to do. Men like to make decisions but will still love to hear your suggestions. Don’t make crucial decisions without his consent or his knowledge.
Earn income: – Take steps to earn income as well. When you do never let it get into your head, use it to support the home. If your income is higher than his or you are more blessed in any way, don’t get carried away about it and want to be in charge.
Be yourself in your marriage: – discover what is going wrong, try to fix it by yourself. Make your marriage work. If you notice a change in your spouse’s behaviour, ask yourself what you are not doing right or have a chat with your husband about it. If he is honest, he will tell you where it all went wrong and do the same to him. Express how you feel about something, don’t bottle up and assume he already knows.
Learn to say I am sorry: – many a time, we as humans have so much pride in us that we do not apologize when we are wrong. The word “sorry”, means a lot, it can calm a situation down. It softens the heart. Don’t say, I wasn’t at fault, so I am not apologising or maintaining that you are right with the decision you took. Have the courage to say sorry.
Don’t keep secrets from your spouse: – try as much as possible not to keep secrets, secrets can destroy your home.
Be open and honest: – be open and honest about everything. Avoid using lies to cover up. There was a time I lied about the money I spend at the grocery store, unfortunately for me, I kept the receipt where my husband could see it. He was not happy, I had to apologise for not being honest.
Only involve a third party if it is absolutely necessary: – avoid discussing your problems with outsiders. You and your spouse are adults, solve your problems in- house. Do not tell the third party unless it is crucial and essential to do so. E.g., if you feel depressed and can no longer cope, you can seek advice from a responsible person who can be of help. e.g., a counsellor.
Respect your husband’s family: – treat your husband’s relatives nicely, respectfully, and value their own perspectives of life. If you have issues with someone in the family, who you think is not treating you well. To find a lasting solution, discuss with your husband, who will resolve the situation amicably. Avoid doing the fight yourself that will be too much a fight to embark on. Be wise!
Be content with what you have: – don’t compare your husband with another. Appreciate whatever you have and work together to become more fabulous and more successful. Don’t want to be like another woman, thereby putting a lot of pressure on your spouse.
Discuss responsibilities with your husband: – for house chores, ask for help if you cannot cope with everything especially looking after the kids, and doing house chores.
Plan the future together: – We marry someone we could be compatible with. We end up becoming a team and best friends
Pray and Play:- Pray and play together, learn how to do both. Both are ordained by the creator.
If you can try these tips, and more which you can only figure out yourself, you will become a powerful woman in your home and marriage. You will earn your husband’s respect and friendship. With that, take charge of making your home a happy place to be.